My resolution(s)

'This coming new year I will be slightly less useless.' 

 Not really. It is said that New Year resolution(s) are bound to be broken. This is the reason, why most of the New Year resolutions are considered funny in a stupid way. If you are making one out of sheer seriousness, I bet that you will probably break it before 2015 is up. 

But for the sake of tradition, this is what I resolute to do... 

1. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant... screw the ozone layer! 

2. On that note, I will regularly wash my boxers... use more water, yeah! 

3. I will not hang around girls because all of them think I love them. Actually I do. 

4. I will not eat medicine just because it looks like candy... there goes the hallucinations. 

5. I will stop sending a text to someone sitting in the next room… or the same room. 

6. I will take more naps instead of doing work. 

7. I will stop stalking my favourite celebrity after G.E.M.'s 3-day Singapore gig. 

8. I will only use profanities as adjectives in constructive sentences. Fuck yeah! 

9. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL!" 

And lastly... 

10. Learn what the hell "resolution" means. 

Good luck with yours. I know mine will be a fail. LOL. See what I just did there? I just broke no. 9.

Asian Potatoes

I really do not know what is with Asian youths who put on a FAKE Western-speaking accent. Ever so often on my train rides to work, I will come across a handful of such people (girls, especially), who are so oblivious that others can spot that it is a fake accent. I know that some of the Western accents can be quite unique but seriously... "YOUR ACCENT COME FROM WHERE?" 

Sure, most of them will ARGUE that it is because they have been studying abroad and exposed to a foreign culture and blah blah blah!   I worked in Hong Kong for well over two year and I did not come back speaking English with a Hong Kong accent. Although I do know how to fake it.   And it is not the only accent I know how to IMITATE. 

My point is, accents do not just "develop" over time. You would actually CONCIOUSLY need to make an effort to observe and to replicate. So to say it is natural, that is bullshit. Thus I say, it is a "put on". And for what purpose? God knows. Are you so ashamed of where your roots really are? Do you seriously think it puts you in a better social level?  The only thing it really achieves is that you stick out like an ugly sore thumb because everyone else knows you are just faking it. And it is bloody irritating, ok? It is like you are yellow and yet from another freaking planet. Hey, if you are Asian but born and raised in foreign country, that I can understand. Otherwise, who are you trying to impress?   It is not even close to being "cool".

I have tons of friends who have studied or worked in Australia, Canada, Dubai, England, States, Japan, China and even Russia. NONE of them returned with an accent. Sure they make have picked up the local language or slang, but not the accent.

Apparently, I am not the only one that finds it irritating.

One of my ex-classmate said to her daughter who was heading for further studies in Australia, "if you come back from Melbourne with an Aussie accent, I'll either slap the accent out of you or send you to Mumbai for 3 years."

Signs that you were an 80s kid.

Looking at my ex-classmates' kids, it is for sure that kids today have a vastly different childhood than we did.  Back in the day, the Internet did not exist and there were no iPads or Smart Phones, but growing up was still awesome.  Here are some dead giveaway signs you were a part of Generation X in Singapore :

YOU CAN SPEAK ONE OR MORE DIALECT FLUENTLY.

No thanks to the government policy of killing off dialects and their speak Mandarin campaign. Not many kids today can carry a proper conversation in their mother tongue.

YOU KNOW WHAT "TWIST" MEANS.
Also applicable as "chope"... an all important "time-out" hand-sign feature for most of our childhood games, especially when it comes to "Police & Thief".

TV WAS AWESOME!
Whether you understand Cantonese or not... Man In The Net was a must-watch weekly ritual back then.  And having the ability to sing TV advert jingles became a skill most of us developed.  Who can ever forgot the Kodak one?  Heck, even that stupid "Courtesy Is For Free" song was unforgettable!
 

CENTREPOINT OR FAST EAST KID?
Over the weekend, you were either a Centrepoint Kid or a Fast East Plaza Kid.  It was so legendary that it is even on WIKIPEDIA.


MUSIC SO AWESOME, IT'S STILL ALIVE TODAY.
Music from the era had individual character... whether it was campy or otherwise, each one was in a class of its own.  No two songs sounded similiar.  Radio's still playing it, and some clubs still swear by it.

THE WAY IT WAS...
You know which MRT this was before it became the labyrinth of crap it is today.

COOL STUFF
They do not make them anymore... like pencil sharpeners that came with a small vanity mirror.

COMPUTERS

Because the internet did not exist and we practically had to invent our own social games with the kids in the neighbourhood, the only time we actually used our parent's computers were to play mind numbing games like this...

 

These were just some of the things.  If we were to compile a comprehensive list of things synonymous with the era we grew up with, I truly think it would be take up the space of an entire book.  Nostalgia, something none of us will actually get over.

The Reunion Of Ang Mo Kio Secondary School

The one thing that I have always looked forward too each year is the gathering of my closest secondary school mates from Ang Mo Kio Secondary School. It is always a blast to relive our "heydays" and to catch up with each other's life. Sadly, we have never been able to gather the entire "gang" as some have either gone missing or are busy with family life and etc. Nonetheless, I am glad all of them are getting on with life in the most successful way possible... some more "eventful" than the others. 

This year, despite the rain, we manage to have quite a rousing barbeque session at a friend's place in Serangoon Garden.   No, we do not drink as much as we use to but the exchange of old stories were enough to keep the party alive... and surprisingly, some of them can sing the entire school anthem (which some of us have long forgotten).  Of course, the presence of our court jesters never fail to split our sides!

It  has been 30 years and we are all in our 40s.  Despite some failing memory issues, the bond we have shared since school remain strong.  Time flies but it has been kind to us all.  Till we meet again in March 2015... cheers guys and gals!

 

Last Christmas...

It has been a disppointing Christmas thus far, because the local free-to-air TV channel did not show any encore telecast of Home Alone or Tim Allen's Santa Claus... and the radio channels did not play history's most ridiculous Christmas "favourite" song... hahaha! I keel you, understand?

And Santa did not come to town because he was caught speeding by the traffic police.

On a happier note, there is footy galore on Boxing Day.

Retina? Ribena? Close Enough!

Prior to buying my new MacPro, I had the (dis)pleasure of having the sales associate explain to me the difference between the regular display screen and the retina one.  Technically... "RETINA DISPLAY" is basically a marketing term to describe resolutions density that is approximately 300 or more pixel per inch.  A normal person, that means YOU and ME, is unable to tell the difference from a normal viewing distance... you would need a magnifying glass.  Honestly, I do not think that it is really going to make any difference to the usage of your devices.  

So after the lengthy explaination at the shop, i settled for...

Merry X'mas and all that jazz...

From me to you... bah humbug!!!

Hello Bitches, I'm Back!

For those who do not really know the real person behind the "Yukun" persona, this animated GIF from Homeland best describes me. 

Yes.  I can be your BEST friend and your WORST friend at any given time.  Why?  It is probably (or so I am told) because I am blunt and I have no qualms in pointing out the idiots from the crowd.

For those that have known me for ages (yes, we are almost senior citizens status), they would have read my old blog from many eons ago.  Yes, I was blogging way before blogging was even considered "cool".  After a while, despite the attention and growing readership, I gave it up simply because I could no longer express myself honestly and frankly.  Some people took offense to my bluntness and opinions.  I do not blame them, because...

So why am I back again?  Well, blogging today has become a part of a business model and too many have taken to it just to make a quick buck.  I am not back for that.  Hell, no!  God forbid.  I am not back in a desperate bid for fame or to fulfill the need for attention.  Honestly?  I do not even care if nobody reads my blog. 

I miss being myself and having an outlet to be ALMOST politically correct.  I miss the fun of putting something out and having people poking their nose into my private life.  I miss the time consuming effort in keeping readers interested.   Most importantly, I like the idea of having my part of my life legacy online (although most of it will be exaggerated).

So here we are again, coming to an end of yet another eventful year.  And quite frankly, I hate this time of year.  No, I am not against holidays and festivities.  I am against the way people buy into the commercialism of the season and end up giving you shitty gifts that you would probably end up recycling and giving it to some other person NEXT YEAR.  Do not deny.  We are all guilty of it.  Anyway, my point is... if you sincerely wanted to give me something, you do not have to wait till Christmas.  My door (and pockets) are opened 24/7. Cash preferred, so that I can go buy something that I really need.

Before you go accusing me for being a Grinch and having an anti-holiday spirit... here's a card I drew a while back for a marketing company... so please retract that accusing finger.  Thank you.

But quite honestly, I do not see the joy of the season.  Christmas shopping?  Are you crazy?  Have you seen the crowds in town?  Unfortunately I have, which brings me to this little true story...

My trusty 10-year-plus black MacBook conked out on me the night before.  I did all the usual checks, power cord switches and etc.  Nothing worked. It could not be resuscitated.  Despite the loss of SOME precious data, I could not complain much.  For a laptop to last that long without giving any issues during it's operational life, it is considered money well-spent.  Well done, Apple!  Oh, that by the way is not a cheap product placement.  I wish it was though.  God only know who much I would get paid for saying that.

So today, I had no choice but to head down to down to get a replacement.  Journey down by subway, no complains.  When I reached Orchard Road... OMFG! (for those still out of the loop when it comes to jargons... it simply means Oh Em Ef Gee.)

I know Singapore's already over populated, but this is fucking ridiculous!  And do not tell me that it is the Christmas crowd or holidaying tourists.   Correct me if I am wrong, it has been this conjested for quite a while now, at any time of the year.  I am not claustrophobic but this is enough to make me understand what that psychological fear is about.   Thankfully like most guys, I am all about the "grab and go" routine.  Unless there was a million bucks involved, I am not going to hang around or do any browsing or shit like that.   I already knew what I needed to buy so I did an Eric Cartman...

I settled for an upgraded MacBook Pro (the one with more ports than a regular whore) and headed back home.  This is where it really pissed me off.  I had to wait for THREE trains before I could board because the earlier two were literally full to the brim.  The third was not that any better either.  To stand for the entire bloody 30-minute journey and to be cramped like sardines with a concoction of body ordour (I am not saying from which nationality) assaulting your nostrils is kind of like being a Jew in a Nazi gas chamber.  First class transport?  More like first class torture chamber.

Which brings me to the next obvious thing which most of you already know.  At least 50% of the people in the train carriage that I was in were NOT Singaporeans.  No, the other 50% were not foreign tourists either.  And if that was not enough to grind your gear, along comes this PRC woman with a baby in one hand and pushing a loaded pram with the other hand.  The train was already full but she insisted in getting in, ramming the pram right into my shin.  Did she say sorry?  No.  It is as if I was wrong to be obstructing her. I really had half the mind to...

Now I know why I do not have kids... so that I do not end up being a social irritant like this one.  And I hope that my friends that do have kids, please bear in mind that having baby pram does not mean that the entire fucking world has to rotate around you and that you can go around insisting your right of way just because you have a brawling baby.

Things like this make this "first world" country utterly shitty.  Sure, not all Singaporeans are gracious but did we really have to go import all these socially inconsiderate cunts.  I am not being xenophobic.  I agree that we do need foreign workers to fill in the gaps... but who the fuck left the floodgates opened till now?

Sorry for digressing.  This is not the main point of the story I am trying to relate.  Miraculously I managed to survive the genocide, and made my way home with a slightly bruised shin.   My old dead MacBook was still plugged into the power socket at my work desk.  I placed the new MacPro box next to it, opened it up and proceeded to do the necessary registration and configuration when suddenly I heard that familiar start-up tone coming from the old MacBook.  Nobody else was in the room, and I certainly did not touch the start button either.  It came on by its own!  CROSS MY HEART!  I freaked out.  Said the Lord's Prayer under 5 seconds and started to investigate.   It was not on sleep mode either because I spent a good one hour checking everything last night when it "died".  I related the incident to my Dad and he calmly responded, "your old laptop jealous that you bought a new one".  As the cloud of mystery continues to linger, I conclude that it must be possessed by the ghost of Steve Jobs. 

 

And for some strange reason, I actually feel coerced (by a supernatural force) into buying a new laptop.  There goes S$1,800.  Well, what is done, is done.  The only thing left to do now is to quickly do the necessary back-ups and transfers into the MacPro before anything else happens.

p/s I asked SIRI and this is what she had to say about it...